When We Stumble

Sometimes, as we go through the course of our life, we stumble. Sometimes, things are going so well – in our work life, in our family life, in our personal life – and then, suddenly, whammo, something happens – and we stumble.

I stumbled recently.

Things were going so well. I had run two 5Ks this spring. I had never done that before. Prior to December of last year, it had never occurred to me that I could do that. Remember, I was always the kid who didn’t seem to have an athletic bone in his body.

In June, I spent a night at Camp Greenwood in preparation for a presbytery meeting to be held there the next day. Early in the morning, well before breakfast, I wanted to go for a run. I found Greg Hoekman in the dining hall and asked him directions for a good three-mile running route. He gave me clear directions – right here, left here, left here, etc. – that would bring me in a big loop right back to the camp entrance. I headed off. Within twenty minutes, it was clear to me that this was going to be farther than three miles. But I kept going. Within thirty minutes, it was clear to me that this was going to be significantly farther than three miles. But I kept going. I started trying to guess how far I was running – was this four miles? Could it be five? Eventually I made it back to the camp entrance, rather sweaty and still running strong, just in time for breakfast. Later that day, after the meeting was over, I drove the route that I had run, to see how far I had gone. Three miles, yes; four miles, yes; five miles, yes – it turned out to be 5.6 miles. Five point six miles! Nearly the length of the two 5Ks that I had run in the spring, combined – and I could have gone farther. I emailed Greg and told him that he needed to work on his distance measurements, but I also thanked him for the challenge that he had inadvertently set before me – because, thanks to his directions, I had reached a whole new level that I didn’t know I could reach.

And if I could do that – if I could run 5.6 miles in one stretch and still feel good and strong at the end of it – what more could I do? I looked at the schedule of running events in the area. There’s an 8K in Haslett on September 20 – gosh, I just did an 8K, without even trying! There’s a 10K in Lansing on October 10 – could I possibly do that? And then – there they were – two half-marathons this fall, one in Lansing on September 27, and another in Detroit on October 18. Surely I couldn’t aim for one of those – could I?

I started talking to more experienced runners. I joined a running group. I began working with a coach. I asked lots of questions. And the answer I kept getting back – from person after person after person – was, “Yes, Bill, you can do this. If you can do what you’ve already done, then with a little bit of discipline and a little bit of perseverance and a little bit of stamina, you can do this. You can run a half-marathon.” So, with a training schedule in hand and some new running partners and a lot of useful information about running form and stretches and nutrition and hydration, I set myself a new goal: a half-marathon. Thirteen point one miles – more than double the distance that I had run at Camp Greenwood.

I kept track of my progress. 5.6 miles. 5.8 miles. 6.5 miles. 7.2 miles. Every Saturday, a bit further than I had gone the previous Saturday, with a reduced distance every third week to give my body time to catch up, and with two shorter runs during the week (but “short” had become a relative term). Then, breakthrough, on the beautiful summer morning of August 1 at Hawk Island Park as my running partner and I were both gently urging each other on, 10 miles. Ten miles! Talk about a runner’s high – I was euphoric! Once again, I had accomplished something I didn’t know I could do. Ten miles! The half-marathon was so tantalizingly close – trainers say that one you can get to 10, the remaining 3.1 is really no trouble at all, that your adrenaline and excitement will just carry you the rest of the way. So close!

That’s when I stumbled.

On the Tuesday after that ten-mile run, I ran two miles before I just simply had to stop. My legs just couldn’t go any further. On Thursday, I managed five – but my legs were still sore, particularly my right. On Saturday, I managed eight in pouring-down-rain. But the following week, it was obvious that something was very definitely wrong. We were on vacation, in Mexico for my sister-in-law’s wedding. I ran five miles through the streets of Playa del Carmen . . . but it hurt. Two days later, I thought to myself as I rolled out of bed, “Okay, my leg’s feeling sore, but surely it’ll feel better once I get it moving.” Not! Know how far I got that day? A quarter of a mile. Barely three blocks. That’s it. It just hurt too much.

The following week – back home – I headed off to an injury clinic. After a variety of tests, the sports med person concluded that I had strained one of my quads. “Take it easy,” she said. “Slow down. Let your body heal.”

But what if I don’t want to slow down? That half-marathon – it’s coming soon!

You know, there are times when you should just listen to what your body is telling you. I did slow down . . . but I didn’t stop. I ran less often . . . but I still ran. I ran shorter distances . . . but I kept going. And my leg responded in kind. When I rested . . . it didn’t hurt. When I ran . . . it hurt. Connection? Probably. Was I bright enough to pay attention? Not!

So now, finally, after a visit to my doctor – who ordered an x-ray and wrote a script for physical therapy and told me that the half-marathon would have to wait till next year – and after a visit to my new physical therapist – who did all sorts of interesting tests on my legs and concluded that my case was “quite a puzzle” – it seems that the problem isn’t simply a strained quad, but that what’s really going on is that my left leg has a significantly greater degree of flexibility than my right, and when I run I’m pacing myself according to my left leg, which is causing the right portion of my pelvis to shift in odd ways to compensate for the lack of flexibility in my right leg, which is then in turn causing strain in a muscle that’s apparently underneath my quads. Bottom line: my right leg needs more flexibility. And the solution for that? Stretching. Lots and lots and lots of stretching.

Great. What fun. I want to go running – I want to get out there and feel the breeze and feel my heart pumping and feel the rush of adrenaline and enjoy the sights of this beautiful world that God has created. I know stretching’s important, and I’ve been trying to be diligent at it – but I don’t want to have to do that much stretching! My P.T. wants me to be doing over 30 minutes of stretching a day. Stretching – when I’d rather spend that time running!

So, you see, I stumbled.

You know, there are times when God sends messages our way that we need to pay attention to. There are times when God tries really hard to get our attention. There are times when we humans just want to ignore the evidence, the hard facts, the brutal realities of life. There are times when we just want things to be our way, when we want to call the shots as they pertain to our individual lives, when we try desperately to be in control . . . but, truth be told, they aren’t, we can’t, and we’re not. The sooner we realize that, the better. Sometimes, things happen in our lives remind us of us that. We would be wise to pay attention to those reminders!

Moreover, sometimes we want to find someone or something else to blame for our troubles. We want to look around and say, “This bad thing that’s happening to me – it’s all someone else’s fault.” Or, sometimes we look for excuses: “Well, this bad thing that’s happening to me, it’s really because of this other factor over here, that I have no control over.” But you know what? At least some of the time – that’s just balderdash. Truth be told, at least some of the time, we have no one to blame but ourselves for the fixes we get ourselves into. I’m laid up because I wasn’t doing a good enough job stretching. That’s it. Pure and simple. There is no one else I can blame. There are no outside factors that I can use to make excuses. It’s my fault, my responsibility, and I have to own that.

When we get in trouble at work because we’ve failed to meet a deadline . . . well, truth be told, maybe that’s at least in part because we’re not very good at time management. When we have troubles in a relationship with a spouse or significant other. . . well, truth be told, maybe that’s at least in part because there are some things that we’re doing that are causing strain in the relationship. When we’ve volunteered for a task or an assignment but constantly find ourselves frustrated . . . well, truth be told, maybe that’s at least in part because we didn’t make a very good choice. When our children are acting up . . . well, truth be told, maybe that’s at least in part because we’ve still got some things to learn about good parenting skills. When we come down with a medical condition that might have been preventable . . . well, truth be told, maybe that’s at least in part because we haven’t been very good stewards of our bodies. Granted, there are certainly times when there is nothing we could have done to prevent the situation we find ourselves in now. But, at least some of the time, the reason we’ve gotten ourselves into a fix is because we’ve done something – or failed to do something (like adequate stretching!) – that has directly contributed to the mess we find ourselves in.

So what we need to do – on a regular basis – is engage in some prayerful self-reflection and introspection. What am I doing (or failing to do) that is contributing to the mess I’m in right now? What do I need to do – what changes to I need to make to my work habits or relationship habits or exercise habits or dieting habits or other habits of life – if I’m going to get out of this fix? Then – once we’ve figured out what we really need to change about ourselves – then we have to have the guts and the stamina and the discipline to actually do it, to actually make the changes that we oh-so-desperately need to make. (Reminder to self: don’t forget your stretches tonight!)

When we do that – when we actually make those changes that we know, deep down, that we really need to make – well, my friends, I believe that’s one means – one very, very important means – by which we grow in our spiritual walk. God speaks to us in all sorts of ways . . . the question is whether we’re paying attention to those messages, and whether we’re willing to make difficult changes in response to those messages we receive.

Peace and blessings,

Rev. Bill Pinches
Pastor