Small Whats?!?

"Although I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink;
instead I hope to come to you and talk with you face to face, so that our joy may be complete."
(2 John 1.12)

I remember the first time I participated in a small group. I was in college. There were a number of students who headed over to the chaplain's house once a week for some light refreshments and to engage in conversation about a book we were reading. The particular book was a real classic: Beginning to Pray by Anthony Bloom, a monk and an Archbishop in the Russian Orthodox Church, first published in 1970. It was already a classic when I read it twenty or so years ago in college; it remains a classic today. It was a relatively short book - only 144 pages - but filled with a tremendous amount of theological and spiritual depth.

The problem was, I wasn't mature enough to for the book. I didn't get it; I didn't understand it; I didn't connect with it. Other people were loving it. Me, I was suffering through it. And I was completely mystified by the title: "Beginning to Pray." Don't I already know how to pray? I mean, don't you just fold your hands together, close your eyes, and start pouring out your "thank you, God's" and your "please, God's"? Isn't that all there is to it? Such were the thoughts of a pretty naïve, rather immature, and fairly headstrong 20-year-old. It was many years after that before I came to realize and appreciate the depth of Bloom's masterful work.

But, I gave it a shot. I went dutifully, week after week. I kept trying to come up with some interesting comments to make. I'm not sure I had much of substance to say. I was too young, too inexperienced as a Christian. Oh, sure, I had grown up in the church. I knew a lot of basic Bible stories. I was familiar with quite a number of hymns. I had sat through many sermons, some of which were more meaningful and relevant than others. But none of that meant that I knew the first thing about having a deep, meaningful, vital relationship with God - which is what the book we were reading was all about.

Around the same time, I joined a Bible study that the chaplain's wife was leading. That group was a mixture of a few students and some local residents. I'm not sure I got much out of that either. I remember that one of the members of the group had a lot of personal issues that she was trying to work through - she was a single, divorced mom trying her best to raise her boy under pretty adverse circumstances. An admirable woman, really. But what was going on in her life was radically different from what was going on in my life, and I had trouble relating to her.

Then there was a small group I signed up for led by a fellow student. We were reading through the gospel of Matthew, if I recall correctly. I was the only one who signed up . . . so it was just the two of us. Talk about intimidating!

Maybe you've had experiences like that. Maybe you've tried the "small group" thing at some point in the past and it just didn't connect with where you were at that point in your life. The reality is, we're all in different places in our spiritual journeys. Some of us are very much "babes in Christ." Others of us have a strong, deep faith that pervades everything we do. Some of us are young parents. Others of us have buried our spouse and too many of our friends. Some of us are frantically trying to manage our careers and have some kind of life on the side. Others are frantically trying to manage all the things we've become involved in during our retirement years and are still trying to have some kind of life on the side! Some of us are in strong and stable marriages; others are in a very painful situation or have just come through a very painful situation. Some of us are worried about our weight; some of us are worried about our medical condition; some of us are worried about our finances; some of us are worried about our children. We're all over the map. Every one of us has some kind of cross that we're bearing. What we need . . . what we need, no matter where we are in life . . . is a community of fellow pilgrims who are trying hard to stay rooted and grounded in Jesus Christ. We need people who will be there for us. We need people who will work hard to understand us. We need people who will pray for us (and not people who just say they will pray for us). We need people with whom we can be vulnerable. We need people whom we can trust. We need people who can inspire us to grow as Christians. We need people who can challenge us to do what's right and not merely what's easy or convenient. We need people who can hold us accountable. We need people with whom we can explore and discuss what it means to be a faithful follower of Jesus Christ.

I believe that good small groups have three critical ingredients: (a) a good leader who can facilitate the conversation and the complexities of group dynamics, (b) a good book that provides some substantive meat for lively, thoughtful dialogue and engagement, and (c) some committed participants who are willing to work together cooperatively to create the best possible experience for everybody involved. I have had the privilege of being in a number of groups like that over the years. Maybe not those first few, though each one of them, in their own way, was a step in the right direction. I've been in groups where, when it's time for people to lift up their prayer requests, everyone gets out a pen and something to write on and takes notes as people talk, so they can go back home and pray for all the people and situations that were mentioned. I've been in groups where the people involved take the initiative to call and check in on one another, without any prompting from the leader, because they care about each other that much. I've been in groups where there was passionate disagreement about the content of the book that was being discussed but where the relationships between the participants were so strong that everybody walked away from the experience closer to one another and with a greater understanding and appreciation of each other and their respective differences. I've been in groups where people's lives have been tremendously enriched. Perhaps most importantly, I've been in groups where my life has been tremendously enriched.

Our goal here at Mason First Presbyterian Church is to create more opportunities and experiences like that. There are several new small groups starting up this Fall, and you will find details later on in these pages or on the bulletin board in the Memorial Room. We want to create rich, deep, authentic, safe communities where you will feel at home . . . where you can talk about the things that matter to you . . . where you can engage with other people about what it means to live a faithful Christian life . . . where you can ask questions . . . where you can be yourself . . . where you can grow in your relationship with God.

Not every small group works for everybody. Some are a better fit than others. Some thrive more than others. Some never really get off the ground. If you find yourself in a group that's not a good fit for you, no worries - we've got others you can try! Give it a go, see if it works for you . . . don't just walk out the door the first time you feel uncomfortable (a little discomfort is probably a good thing; that means you're stretching and growing) . . . but if you go week after week and you think to yourself, "I don't know why I bother," then maybe that group's not for you. That doesn't mean that you should just give up. Try something else. Keep searching till you find your niche. If you really get stuck, come talk to me or one of the other church leaders on the Adult Spiritual Growth team, and we'll see if we can create something more to your liking. Our hope is to phase more groups in over time, as we grow and evolve.

Are you scared? Nervous? Worried about how you'll fit? Concerned that you might not have good stuff to say? That's okay. Relax. Don't worry about it. Don't let your anxiety rule the day. Take a breath. Take a dive. Take the plunge. Go deep.

Really . . . you'll be glad you did.

Peace and blessings,

Bill